Sunday, March 20, 2011

Going it Alone (?)

Is it really that odd to go to a bar alone? I just got back from a little bar about 5 minutes from my house (Maxwell’s for Waterloo people). I went because a band I liked was going to be playing a show. I know a couple of the band members and they’re good guys and make some awesome music. A couple other people I know said they might drop by but they didn’t but that didn’t matter. I just sat myself at a table and got some beer. Supposedly this is strange? Yeah I know going out and partying are group activities but if none of my friends are interested I’m not going to stop that from me enjoying my night.
            I kinda understand; I used to be terrified to go into a pub or restaurant alone. I would often even wait for my friends outside rather than go in and claim a table and sit there alone. I don’t know if I thought people would judge me for not being with people or something. Now I don’t care. I’ve been to huge concerts alone (it really doesn’t make a difference when you’re front row at a giant metal show anyway), to bars alone, and gotten a table for one at restaurants. It’s freeing in a way, you don’t need to rely on other people to entertain you. For restaurants or bars where I’m not there for music I’ll bring a book and just read while I’m there and it can be a nice change of atmosphere from my basement room. I think some of the fear is of being judged by others, and then I realized that when I go out with friends I don’t see a person alone and pity them, I probably wouldn’t even notice them, so why would people notice you? Even if you are noticed and judged why would it matter? I’ve stopped giving a damn what people think of me and turns out that most people think I’m pretty awesome and I just have to concur (others quite possibly think I’m a bitch but either way is fine with me). I think a lot of this has to do with a rise in self-confidence.  I have to credit a lot of this attitude and confidence to my trip to Norway when I had no choice other than to go alone and I realized it’s not all that bad. Often some random person will start a conversation with you simply because you’re an anomaly. I’ve had a couple interesting conversations with people who I never would have talked to if I were in a group setting (was just told by some random guy that I looked very ‘will of the wind’ as if I were just wandering through a park. He probably mean ‘will’o the wisp’ or something but he was genuinely surprised I was there alone).
            So I challenge you, whoever you are, to go out and party by yourself for a night or go into a sit down restaurant and get a table for one. Bring a book or a laptop or sit around and people watch. It is a little nerve wracking at first but you’ll eventually realize that it really doesn’t matter. You are not the object of everyone’s attention, derision, or pity. If other people notice you they may even admire your confidence for not needing or relying on other people to be there for you. I think of the girls are clubs who can’t even go to the washroom alone and I pity them because they need to be lead around/ followed every moment of their day or else they feel lonely. Embrace being alone and you’ll find that you can be the source of your own happiness. for the band I went to see.

1 comment:

  1. Love it. Have to agree - I've started taking up going for dinner at a sushi place alone sometimes and I either read or people watch and it's unusually fascinating. I always thought going to shows/concerts had to be a group thing too but I went to one alone for the first time last spring and it was probably the best concert experience I've ever had!