Thursday, June 16, 2011

Working in Retail= A parade of idiots

Because I figured no one would hire a new person for only two months (and I dislike the idea of lying to a company) I returned to my old job in a retail store May-July in order to save some money for Norway. I've worked in retail at various stores for approximately seven years, have experienced ridiculous levels of stupidity, and I have a lot of customer pet peeves. Newest stupid= a woman who thought her bottle of water was expired.... yeah expired water.


Some of my (many) pet peeves:
- Don't ever assume that what you want is obvious. Don't respond to "do you want that in a bag", with " well yeah, of course", as if I'm supposed to know that you want a bag. Do you know why I ask? because the majority of people say NO. I have even been told off for giving someone a bag they didn't ask for, so I ask, it's easier that way and is it really that hard of a question to answer?
- Use your fucking eyes. Your body evolved so that you would be capable of observing the world around you. Read signs and look around yourself. Be aware. DON'T walk in the store and immediately demand to know where something is. Then when I tell you where it is, go look and find it yourself, don't come back two seconds later and say it's not there and then have me lead you directly back where I sent you to pick it off the shelf and hand it to you. I seriously don't know how people can consider themselves adults when they need to be taken by the hand and lead through everything.
- If I call someone to help you, don't come back less than a minute later saying that person hasn't shown up yet and to call them again. Do you think you're the only person in the store? You think you're superior to the other idiots demanding help? Well sorry bud but you're not and he's helping someone else first. Be patient and you will be helped in turn. Also if you leave the area that you need help in to come bitch at me that means that the employee who may have shown up to help you can't find you and will go back to what they're doing or be co-opted by another customer.
- Another thing to read is the debit machine console. Does it say insert card? No? then don't put it in. Then when an error message pops up because you put your card in too soon, you should read it and follow the instructions of removing card and pressing enter instead of freaking out after the first two words that say Card Rejected and looking at me like a lost retarded puppy. Then don't stand there looking at me when you're supposed to put in your pin.
-TAKE YOUR FUCKING CARD. The number of people that walk away with their card in the machine is astounding. I'm sick of having to check the machine after every customer and running out of the store after people all the time. but if I don't there's a risk of getting written up. Yes. I could be punished because people are too stupid to remember the card that gives them access to all their money.
- Jokes- don't tell them. I guarantee I have heard all the cashier related jokes and they weren't funny the first time I heard them and they still weren't the thousandth time.
*hands me a $50 or $100 bill* "Just printed them today! haha".
Something doesn't have a price tag? "It must be free! AhawAhaw" No. Fuck off.
- Don't get offended if I don't remember you. I see hundreds of people a day; you are not special. Unless you're hot or astoundingly ugly or idiotic or I specifically make an effort to look at you then I won't remember you.
- Parents- keep your kid(s) quiet.
- The store gives out reward money. You don't get a lot and the amount has lowered since the last time I worked at the red triangle. But still, free money- don't complain that you get it- it's free and there's a big donation box if you consider it an inconvenience. Don't complain that you don't get more of it- it's free.
-Don't tell me to smile. Help idiots all day and then feel like smiling. Usually I do smile and say hello but when I have a crappy day I'm not going to beam at you. You don't know what's happening in my life so don't insist I look happy just to make you feel better.
...there's a lot more.
retail sucks.

1 comment:

  1. I do NOT miss retail. I worked at Hallmark for a long time and I once had a man yell at me and storm out in front of a store full of customers because the only card (out of millions) that he decided he had to have had the american spelling of the word 'color'. So sorry, I'll go slap around the little american elves I have making cards in the back and replace them with canadian ones. asshole. It's definitely not easy, it tries your patience.

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